It's clear that not enough has changed and everything seems to be getting worse right now rather than better, but I grew up in a completely white community in an uncritical household with an openly racist step-father. I was taught a curriculum that made time for Jack the Ripper but didn't teach me anything about the Windrush generation.
I read Reni's book when it came out in 2017 and I've read your book and others like them. You all opened my eyes to so many things I had been ignorant to, and since then I have tried to actively change my behaviours and decolonise my perspective. It didn't stop for me when it stopped trending on social media. I'm a teacher, so I have been trying to design and teach anti-racist curricula and I'm trying to make sure my kids don't grow up as ignorant as me.
I'm not saying this to say that I'm a great white person or that I'm amazing or perfect. I know I still have a lot to learn. I just want to say that there are some of us who are still impacted by your work. It's not enough, but it's not nobody. Thank you for everything you have done, and I'm so sorry for all the pain and trauma you have had to and still continue to carry. It is a burden you should not have to bear.
I would like to reiterate Jessica’s comments. I am also a white teacher and try my hardest to keep in mind anti-racist teaching. I admire you from afar too. I read The Good Ally after reading a review in The Observer a few years ago. It took me ages to read because I found it so hard mentally. But its impact was massive. I do the work you suggest from buying books from black owned book shops to calling out racism when I hear it. I encouraged my black boyfriend who suffered racism at work to report rather than put up with it.
I’ve
listened to your Hidden Histories on audible. I loved it and felt like I wanted to interact with you and talk about all the women you have found out about. Amazing!
After reading an email from you today I listened to Woman’s Hour and held onto every word. I then found you here on substack which I have only just downloaded. I always wondered what it was!
So what have I done in the last 5 years? I have started an anti racist group with a friend because we were so upset our local library didn’t do anything for Black History Month. We are a small and diverse group from different backgrounds.
We get together monthly and research, discuss black people from history or current times and do creative activities, share food and so on. This has led to me joining a Whats App group of women in North Devon from different cultures. In this group is a wonderful anti racist trainer from Brazil who came to train our teachers at my school and challenge our thinking.
Since the dreadful riots last year I thought about what more I could do in my neighbourhood. So I made friends with a Southern Asian family and invited them to share our garden as they don’t have one themselves. We also share food and celebrations.
I’m now thinking what I can do better. I need to keep learning and growing as an anti-racist; reading books by authors like yourself. I will ask my group to listen to Hidden Histories so that we can talk about those amazing women.
Thank you for reading my long post Nova and thank you Jessica for sharing yours.
Thank you for your words Naomi and work as a teacher. I’m curious in everything that you listed - what’s not mentioned is gathering with other white folk to study and understand white supremacy and how it may show up in you / each other and hold one another accountable. That’s the most important work. That’s what The Good Ally really calls for readers to do - looking inwards. The work continues 🙏🏾
Oof. My dear Nova. Sending you so much love and also a massive thank you for your work. So much of what you said resonated with me. The sudden demand for services that for years I'd been told are too niche. People asking for advice and access with no offer of payment for professional skills. I feel very grateful that I didn't experience loss of friendships (Facebook connections, yes but 🤷🏿♀️) - I make a practice of gently culling my "friends" every few years if our values no longer align. It's a gentle and often mutual process (I stop reaching out and making an effort and often I don't hear from them again!). The cycle of moving from burnout to survival in my business has become unsustainable. Trying to hold on to hope and community with the people I know are still learning and invested. Solidarity always. I appreciate you so much. ❤️
Thank you for sharing more about your experiences. That burnout to survival pendulum black women in business experience is so incredibly violent. I was going to say I’m glad you didn’t experience the loss of friendships - but I’m not- because as you point to in your mutual ‘culling’ it’s often necessary for growth. Hold onto and invest into thar community - that’s where hope grows ❤️
Nova, this analysis is surgical - especially about the urgency-to-apathy cycle. I'm struck by how much practical wisdom you've earned navigating this. I'm curious about the internal work you had to do during those impossible months. What kept you grounded when everyone wanted to consume your pain? What practices helped you differentiate between genuine allyship and performative extraction?
Hi Damien - I wasn’t always grounded - it’s tough not to be impacted by the violence of it all. I remember some nights I couldn’t even sleep. So surrendering helped. I worked in mental health for over a decade, so lots of practices are engrained from that training. Mediation in community, being in nature, swimming, grief releases - allowing what is alive to flow through rather than suppress, somatics, gathering with colleagues doing similar work. Those were some things - thank you for your comment Damien.
Thank you for sharing this, it is the Work that many who need, aren't tooled for. I’m learning to let it flow too, but it’s a discipline. Appreciate your practices, they’re a reminder to stay present in a world that commands constant hypervigilance.
I was 18 in 2020 and I truly felt as if my brain was breaking- George's death inspired my religious deconstruction, drove me to reflect on my own experience of Blackness, and inspired a drive for advocacy that had only been in seed form before. I remember not being able to even log in to social media, crying while watching the news, and experiencing a growing canyon between me and my white friends at the time. He's driven me to join in on community activism, to read and act upon knowledge, and to love radically. Its 2025 and I know my 18 year old self would be so torn to see how little has actually changed politically and socially, how much more sorrow and suffering is in the world, but its so reassuring to see how many people have/will continue to honour him, his name has not lost meaning.
I love the searing honesty of your words. Thank you for sharing your experience, for loving radically and showing up. Its was such a necessary unfurling for so many of us. I am grateful you are here
Hi Nova
It's clear that not enough has changed and everything seems to be getting worse right now rather than better, but I grew up in a completely white community in an uncritical household with an openly racist step-father. I was taught a curriculum that made time for Jack the Ripper but didn't teach me anything about the Windrush generation.
I read Reni's book when it came out in 2017 and I've read your book and others like them. You all opened my eyes to so many things I had been ignorant to, and since then I have tried to actively change my behaviours and decolonise my perspective. It didn't stop for me when it stopped trending on social media. I'm a teacher, so I have been trying to design and teach anti-racist curricula and I'm trying to make sure my kids don't grow up as ignorant as me.
I'm not saying this to say that I'm a great white person or that I'm amazing or perfect. I know I still have a lot to learn. I just want to say that there are some of us who are still impacted by your work. It's not enough, but it's not nobody. Thank you for everything you have done, and I'm so sorry for all the pain and trauma you have had to and still continue to carry. It is a burden you should not have to bear.
Thank you for the reminder Jessica and for engaging with Reni and I’s work. As a teacher you have such a pivotal role. So thank you for your work. 🙏🏾
I would like to reiterate Jessica’s comments. I am also a white teacher and try my hardest to keep in mind anti-racist teaching. I admire you from afar too. I read The Good Ally after reading a review in The Observer a few years ago. It took me ages to read because I found it so hard mentally. But its impact was massive. I do the work you suggest from buying books from black owned book shops to calling out racism when I hear it. I encouraged my black boyfriend who suffered racism at work to report rather than put up with it.
I’ve
listened to your Hidden Histories on audible. I loved it and felt like I wanted to interact with you and talk about all the women you have found out about. Amazing!
After reading an email from you today I listened to Woman’s Hour and held onto every word. I then found you here on substack which I have only just downloaded. I always wondered what it was!
So what have I done in the last 5 years? I have started an anti racist group with a friend because we were so upset our local library didn’t do anything for Black History Month. We are a small and diverse group from different backgrounds.
We get together monthly and research, discuss black people from history or current times and do creative activities, share food and so on. This has led to me joining a Whats App group of women in North Devon from different cultures. In this group is a wonderful anti racist trainer from Brazil who came to train our teachers at my school and challenge our thinking.
Since the dreadful riots last year I thought about what more I could do in my neighbourhood. So I made friends with a Southern Asian family and invited them to share our garden as they don’t have one themselves. We also share food and celebrations.
I’m now thinking what I can do better. I need to keep learning and growing as an anti-racist; reading books by authors like yourself. I will ask my group to listen to Hidden Histories so that we can talk about those amazing women.
Thank you for reading my long post Nova and thank you Jessica for sharing yours.
Thank you for your words Naomi and work as a teacher. I’m curious in everything that you listed - what’s not mentioned is gathering with other white folk to study and understand white supremacy and how it may show up in you / each other and hold one another accountable. That’s the most important work. That’s what The Good Ally really calls for readers to do - looking inwards. The work continues 🙏🏾
Absolutely! Thank you 🥰
Oof. My dear Nova. Sending you so much love and also a massive thank you for your work. So much of what you said resonated with me. The sudden demand for services that for years I'd been told are too niche. People asking for advice and access with no offer of payment for professional skills. I feel very grateful that I didn't experience loss of friendships (Facebook connections, yes but 🤷🏿♀️) - I make a practice of gently culling my "friends" every few years if our values no longer align. It's a gentle and often mutual process (I stop reaching out and making an effort and often I don't hear from them again!). The cycle of moving from burnout to survival in my business has become unsustainable. Trying to hold on to hope and community with the people I know are still learning and invested. Solidarity always. I appreciate you so much. ❤️
Thank you for sharing more about your experiences. That burnout to survival pendulum black women in business experience is so incredibly violent. I was going to say I’m glad you didn’t experience the loss of friendships - but I’m not- because as you point to in your mutual ‘culling’ it’s often necessary for growth. Hold onto and invest into thar community - that’s where hope grows ❤️
I can feel the pain in your words. The writing is beautiful but the topic is not. Sending much love
Nova, this analysis is surgical - especially about the urgency-to-apathy cycle. I'm struck by how much practical wisdom you've earned navigating this. I'm curious about the internal work you had to do during those impossible months. What kept you grounded when everyone wanted to consume your pain? What practices helped you differentiate between genuine allyship and performative extraction?
Hi Damien - I wasn’t always grounded - it’s tough not to be impacted by the violence of it all. I remember some nights I couldn’t even sleep. So surrendering helped. I worked in mental health for over a decade, so lots of practices are engrained from that training. Mediation in community, being in nature, swimming, grief releases - allowing what is alive to flow through rather than suppress, somatics, gathering with colleagues doing similar work. Those were some things - thank you for your comment Damien.
Thank you for sharing this, it is the Work that many who need, aren't tooled for. I’m learning to let it flow too, but it’s a discipline. Appreciate your practices, they’re a reminder to stay present in a world that commands constant hypervigilance.
I was 18 in 2020 and I truly felt as if my brain was breaking- George's death inspired my religious deconstruction, drove me to reflect on my own experience of Blackness, and inspired a drive for advocacy that had only been in seed form before. I remember not being able to even log in to social media, crying while watching the news, and experiencing a growing canyon between me and my white friends at the time. He's driven me to join in on community activism, to read and act upon knowledge, and to love radically. Its 2025 and I know my 18 year old self would be so torn to see how little has actually changed politically and socially, how much more sorrow and suffering is in the world, but its so reassuring to see how many people have/will continue to honour him, his name has not lost meaning.
I love the searing honesty of your words. Thank you for sharing your experience, for loving radically and showing up. Its was such a necessary unfurling for so many of us. I am grateful you are here
Thank you for all your work. You make me feel less alone.
Thank you for being here Aisha 🙏🏾
I am sorry. Thank you for sharing this, I had no idea how bad was the wish to consume and brand your suffering.
https://substack.com/@poetpastor/note/p-164122024?r=5gejob&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action