This is such a poignant piece. I feel the self-forgiveness line hard, and that in fact was the driving force for me deciding to invest in long-term therapy this year.
I ruminate on whether I’ve forgiven people in my past a lot too, but I never want them to be punished, I want them to realise what they’ve done, maybe sometimes to receive a genuine apology, because people committing harm and not caring/realising is the bit that jars me the most.
Lastly, if you ever do write a book on forgiveness, I will 100% read it!!
So glad you realised that self-forgiveness piece needed your attention. So many people don’t/ can’t get there and end up projecting onto other people. I hope you get what you need from therapy and are patient with yourself in the process - it’s such a big piece of work! Appreciate your words and thank you for taking the time to read and reflect on mine 🙏🏾
Forgiveness is so difficult - in the moment it feels so much easier to hold on to resentment and anger. But I learned quickly that the forgiveness is for me. And as soon as I let it go, not meaning granting the opportunity for someone to hurt me again, I feel the ease. I think because I’m a Jesus believer, I’m compelled to forgive because I realize I’m seeking forgiveness all the time beucuse I do wrong too.
The book of forgiving from Desmond Tutu really solidified that for me - that’s forgiveness is for me first. Still tough along with the self forgiveness piece - because as you highlight. It is not separate. Thank you Marc. Always lovely to see your name pop up.
Slightly off topic - but I’m curios dear Marc - do you call yourself a Jesus believer in favour of a Christian? If so - would you share why?
I started using it recently after a writer named Sharifa used it her writing (you may know her). But I prefer it sometimes because I feel like it gets at the heart at what I believe. In the name of Christianity, man has done so much harm. I think maybe the term Jesus believer is my way of trying to disassociate with that harm (even though it’s almost impossible too). I’m grateful for your question - realize I never asked myself why I used it myself. Thank you.
This is such a poignant piece. I feel the self-forgiveness line hard, and that in fact was the driving force for me deciding to invest in long-term therapy this year.
I ruminate on whether I’ve forgiven people in my past a lot too, but I never want them to be punished, I want them to realise what they’ve done, maybe sometimes to receive a genuine apology, because people committing harm and not caring/realising is the bit that jars me the most.
Lastly, if you ever do write a book on forgiveness, I will 100% read it!!
So glad you realised that self-forgiveness piece needed your attention. So many people don’t/ can’t get there and end up projecting onto other people. I hope you get what you need from therapy and are patient with yourself in the process - it’s such a big piece of work! Appreciate your words and thank you for taking the time to read and reflect on mine 🙏🏾
Forgiveness is so difficult - in the moment it feels so much easier to hold on to resentment and anger. But I learned quickly that the forgiveness is for me. And as soon as I let it go, not meaning granting the opportunity for someone to hurt me again, I feel the ease. I think because I’m a Jesus believer, I’m compelled to forgive because I realize I’m seeking forgiveness all the time beucuse I do wrong too.
The book of forgiving from Desmond Tutu really solidified that for me - that’s forgiveness is for me first. Still tough along with the self forgiveness piece - because as you highlight. It is not separate. Thank you Marc. Always lovely to see your name pop up.
Slightly off topic - but I’m curios dear Marc - do you call yourself a Jesus believer in favour of a Christian? If so - would you share why?
I started using it recently after a writer named Sharifa used it her writing (you may know her). But I prefer it sometimes because I feel like it gets at the heart at what I believe. In the name of Christianity, man has done so much harm. I think maybe the term Jesus believer is my way of trying to disassociate with that harm (even though it’s almost impossible too). I’m grateful for your question - realize I never asked myself why I used it myself. Thank you.
Thanks for the reminder about forgiving myself AND reclaiming my energy!! It’s a journey.
That “self piece” is such a huge part of it! You’re welcome.